why couldn’t i be born with an older brother who is my best friend and has hot friends that flirt with me and drives me places like mcdonalds when im sad and punches rude boys in the face for me.

My brother once sat on me and farted until I passed out

my brother duct taped me to a treadmill and turned it to the highest setting once

when I was four my brother locked me in a ferret cage for an hour on Christmas Eve

1 day ago // 567,642 notes
Never apologize for burning too brightly or collapsing into yourself every night. That is how galaxies are made. Tyler Kent White (via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)

(Source: allwereallyneedisweed)

1 day ago // 56,213 notes


do you ever sit in school like i know the answer to that questions but i’m not saying it because this class is pissing me off

(Source: cucumberbatchin-gone)

2 days ago // 583,237 notes


calculator more like calcuLATER i aint about that math life

(Source: basedgosh)

3 days ago // 305,911 notes


no we don’t use that room there was once a spider in it

3 days ago // 518,204 notes